Fog, 2015

Fog

Among the many prompts: ‘Walk as though you are the last person on Earth.’

Too prone to millennial anxiety I generally prefer not to play at apocalypse.

Yet the deep sea fog, the beach seeming to extend indefinitely, offered the world as a blank.

So I did walk as though I was the last person on Earth.

My eyes far back in my head, as though looking out through thick glasses, specks floating in front of them, I recall we used to think of these fog specks and sparkles as ‘fairies’. They are blurs on the eyeball, or hallucinations produced out of the attempt to focus.

Walking along the beach, as though to find the edge of the world and the edge of seeing, maybe the edge of being.

In all the stimulation of walking and talking, there was a kind of calm there.

‘In the destructive element immerse!’ says Conrad’s character, Stein. To gamble on walking further into that emptiness, ‘to follow the dream – and again follow the dream.’ A Romantic and dangerous impulse to salvage something Utopian from a foggy sea.

This was not something I saw, but something I felt.

A place that is almost-erased for a moment, seems like a good place to start from.

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